Love Vs Loyalty – A Study of Fear & Control.
Love is uncontrollable. It jumps upon us, without permission; it
is beyond us. We know we cannot turn it on and off. Because this is
beyond our understanding or control, it can be terrifying. To subdue
this fear, loyalty is demanded.
Until 20 years ago in India, if a man died before his wife, she
was expected to throw herself upon his funeral pyre, to show that she
was loyal only to him. If she failed to do this, she was shunned by
her family and community; deemed disloyal, weak and loveless.
Interestingly, the same was not expected of the man if his wife
died. Part of this tradition was keeping up the ideal that a person
is/can be a possession, like cattle or land are still viewed.
Love is not a conscious choice, loyalty is. To deny one’s personal
feelings to adhere to a “loyalty” is psychological slavery.
This was partly how the church was able to rise to such powers
over the last 2,000 years. It stood between a person and their love
for their god; demanding that to love their god they must loyally
obey. The notion of love has been so bastardized by this idealism
that it has almost become one and the same: Trying to impose control
(loyalty/obedience) on an uncontrollable entity.
Fear is the motivator here. We all know how all-consuming and
illogical love can be. It’s presence seems beyond our choice – so we
apply rules to try and maintain it.
Anyone who has been in love knows it comes out of nowhere
sometimes, and it can leave just as quickly.
Ironically, the thing we crave most is the thing we have no power
over. By consciously imposing rules to love, we think we can hold on
to it, understand it, turn it into a negotiation: thus removing the
freedom from love.
This has played a huge factor in the society we have now become.
Aggressive, scared, untrustworthy, self-interested and out of control.
The more one looses one’s own feeling of freedom, the more one
tries to conquer and control others. Until eventually nothing knows
freedom, and everything is enslaved without satisfaction.